Important Conversations
Chances are if you are living and breathing you are likely to have at least one conversation with someone today. But the most important conversation is the one you will have with yourself. No I don’t mean literally talking to yourself out loud, although you may do that too, I am referring to the concept of self-talk.
Self-talk is the practice of talking to oneself either a loud or silently. Messages you send to yourself about situations, people and yourself. Self-talk is mostly comprised of automatic thought. Messages that were sent from past experiences, from others, or from self that we just accept and do not question. These thoughts become so engrained and habitual that they repeat themselves like a skipping CD. Just because these thoughts are there and repeat themselves does not mean they are true. Furthermore, changing your self-talk can lead to greater happiness, success and contribute to overall wellness.
Here are some steps on changing your self-talk. First, become aware of your self-talk. Look for repeat messages. Second challenge those thoughts. In other words don’t believe everything you think! When you find yourself thinking the same thing over and over ask yourself “where is the evidence for this belief?” For example “No one likes me.” Really, no one? What about your significant other, child, parent or friend? Third replace your thought with a more balanced thought such as: “I may not be liked by everyone but I am liked by those that matter most to me, and besides I like me!” Repeat this thought either mentally or if you want out loud each time the old thought enters your mind. Be patient restructuring your thoughts takes time but is well worth it. Don’t get caught in the trap of beating yourself up for beating yourself up!
